


This is going to be a lot of paperwork

by stacys_mom



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Super Sons (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Comic Book Violence, Crossover, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Imprisonment, usual cannon violence and childhood trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23307493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacys_mom/pseuds/stacys_mom
Summary: Somehow, someway, the summer of super keeps getting ruined. This time the super sons have found themselves transported directly into the hands of the Avengers.
Relationships: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne
Comments: 87
Kudos: 600





	1. The no good absolutely awful day

Nick Fury was having a no good, positively bad, absolutely awful morning. He has the beginnings of a major headache forming and pinching the bridge of his nose only offered temporary relief. He has been staring at the screen of his computer monitor for the past 45 minutes watching the same 7 minutes of security tapes over and over again. Wondering how in the hell life had been turned upside down in such a short time. One minute a common room of the helicarrier was empty save for Thor sitting at a table eating lunch and in the next moment something happens that Directory Fury could not explain and and turned his morning from bad to worse.

With his legal pad beside him covered in meticulous notes with various scribbles and highlights, and a chewed pencil in his hand he watched the video screen for the hundredth time. On the screen before him the the scene played out again corresponding exactly to Fury’s notes:

9:38:47 A.M. Common room 3 in the west wing of the helicarrier is empty save for Thor eating lunch at the only table in the room. He is fully armed in his usual asgardian garb with his hammer sitting beside him on the table. Cameras have views of the entire common room from every corner and all devices are fully operational with audio and visual.

9:38:48 A.M. The room is enveloped in an unnatural green light, momentarily obstructing the cameras. Anomaly one appears out of thin air approximately 5 feet from the floor he falls hitting his head on the side of the table where Thor was sitting and continues falling onto the floor. Anomaly one appears to be a male child approximately 10 to 12 years of age. He has black hair and tan skin (possibly middle eastern in heritage) but his eyes are covered by a green mask which renders facial recognition impossible. He is dressed in what appears to be heavy battle armor. His chest adorns a yellow ‘R’ symbol above his red breast plate armour which is over a black long sleeved shirt [upon inspection we have found that all components of this uniform are enforced with Kevlar among other materials]. He is also wearing a black and yellow cape. He has black tactical pants and green boots as well as green gloves. On his back a katana is sheathed. This appears to be his only visible weapon, though he does have a strange utility belt with pockets which could contain possible weapons as well. Upon hitting his head on the table he suffers a wound creating a large gash above his right eyebrow. Anomaly one lays unconscious on the ground. 

9:38:52 A.M. Thor rises from the table. Over audio he can be heard calling to the child out of surprise. He has no apparent connection to the child and is visibly surprised upon anomaly one’s sudden entrance. He kneels next to the boy and examines him and turning the boy over onto his back. 

9:38:57 A.M. The room is again shrouded in unnatural light again. The light hinders all visuals from the cameras in the room momentarily. In that time audio still works and a male child’s voice can be heard saying “Robin” and “What did you do to him?” in a heavy midwestern drawl. At the time of the second flash of light anomaly two arrives into the common room and identifies anomaly one as Robin (codename or name?). Anomaly two is also a male child appearing to be aged 10-12. He too has black hair and without a mask he can be seen to have blue eyes, no facial recognition systems have yet to be successful in identifying him. He is Caucasian. He is wearing torn jeans, red converse, a blue and red hoodie with an “S” on it and a red cape similar to anomaly one. 

9:40:00 A.M. Anomaly two approaches Thor and ‘Robin’ and notices the bleeding wound on Robin’s forehead. At this time Thor is crouching over Robin. Anomaly two adapts a defensive stance and states again “What did you do to Robin?”. To which Thor replies “Child I know not of what this Robin is you speak of”. 

9:40:09 A.M. Anomaly two is of mutant origin. Anomaly two is able to tackle Thor to the ground. The cameras in the room are unable to perceive anomaly two as he crosses the room at what can be assumed to be hypersonic speeds using momentum? Strength? to tackle Thor and push him away from Robin. Thor warns the child “I do not wish to harm you child of Midguard” while flipping positions so that the child is on the ground underneath him. Thor calls and then places Mjolnir onto anomaly two’s lap and walks to the communicator on the wall near the door turning his back to anomaly two as he calls security.

9:41:45 A.M. Thor has his back to the children as he uses the communicator on the wall to alert me to the breach on the helicarrier. Robin is still unconscious at this point and anomaly two has shifted to a sitting position on the ground with mjolnir still on his lap. Anomaly two speaks to Thor “Why did you put this on me?”. Thor turns away from our conversation over the communicator and replies “To keep you put” and turns back towards the communicator. At this point in time Agent Hill, a team of agents, and I are making our way to the room.

Transcript from our conversation over the communicator:  
T: Director Fury, two midguardian children have appeared in the room as I was eating my midday lunch you must come right away- [to keep you put] one of the children of midgard has suffered an injury and requires medical attention at once and the other is-

9:42:00 A.M. While Thor has his back turned to the children Anomaly two grasped mjolnir lifting it off of his lap with one hand. He stood from his position on the ground wielding mjolnir then leaps across the room in a single bound and knocks Thor out with a single blow to the back of his head with the hammer. Before returning back to where Robin lay unconscious still. 

At this point in the video Fury had arrived in the room. Fury, Maria, and 4 agents had arrived just in time to see anomaly two leap across the room and use mjolnir to hit Thor in the back of the head knocking him out and cross the room. 

“Oh my god he has Thor’s hammer,” Agent Hill whispers beside me from our place at the back of the group. “He- he can’t be bad. Right, Fury?” Hill asks me. Fury had just stood there eye wide and gaping as the agents surrounded the children. Anomaly two took to a defensive position standing above his unconscious counterpart holding the hammer like a baseball bat.

Hill spoke first “Kid we aren’t here to hurt you. We have doctors. Thor called us to get your friend looked at, is that okay? You wanna come with us and we can get his head looked at?” she said as she walked towards the children with outstretched hands.

“Who are you? How’d we get here? Where are we? Why’d blondie think a hammer would keep me down??” the boy asked with fire in his voice. 

Fury moved from the door to address the kid directly. “We are good guys, we are SHIELD and Thor is an Avenger. Like Iron Man and Captain America. You are on a military base and we want to know how you got here too. That hammer that you are holding is asgardian, no human is supposed to be able to lift it-”

“-tt” Fury was cut off by the now conscious, unconscious boy who was starting to rise with a scowl on his face that surprised even Fury. “You are obviously ignorant fools. Hayseed that gun Toyman shot at us must have teleported us into this schoolyard cafeteria.” Robin flicked his wrist and began typing into his holocomputer “If you gentlemen and lady will excuse us we will be back on our way to Gotham to stop that imbecile… now.” His scowl deepened even further than anyone thought possible and suddenly the hologram had disappeared and Robin was flipping to behind Fury. He unsheathed his Katana mid flip and was now pressing it into the back of the older man’s neck. “Where are we, why can’t my GPS pick anything up?” he spit angrily.

“Robin calm down!” the other boy said leaping towards them. Stopping in front of Fury with the hammer pointed at his face. 

All of the agents in the room made moves for their guns and pointed them at the boys. Even Agent Hill who was now standing right beside Fury and Robin had taken out her gun and had it pointed directly at Robin. “Boys if you will please come with us willingly nobody has to get hurt, please drop the weapons and we will make sure that you will make it home to wherever this Gotham place is in one piece” She looked over to an agent closest to the boy still armed with Mjolnir and nodded curtly. The agent quickly jumped at the signal and made motions to tackle the child and get the weapon out of his grip but the child was gone in the same moment and was now across the room. At the same time Robin kicked the gun out of Maria’s hands and across the room and adjusted his stance with his leg still raided and kicked again with the same foot to break her nose. 

“How do you not know what Gotham is,” the boy asked flipping the hammer in his hand “it’s like the second biggest city in America and it SUCKS” he said with a smile, which earned a growl from Robin who though just had incapacitated Maria hasn’t faltered his position with his sword against Fury’s neck at all. “Now just let us go and I promise you that you won’t get hurt. WHAT THE-” He was abruptly cut off as Mjolnir flew from his grasp and landed into a now awake Thor’s outstretched hand.

“Children of midgard, your fight has come to an end stand down” Thor started

“-tt- I am not a child,” Robin spit through clenched teeth “SB! Training maneuver 7,” He spoke diving into action. “As Grayson would say, I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore, can you hear anyone?” He spoke with ease to his partner all the while starting a calculated attack on the agents surrounding them knocking out fury and the three agents surrounding him with the butt of his sword and carefully placed kicks and punches while the other boy knocked out one agent with a fist to the nose. He lowered his katana momentarily and quickly dropped smoke pellets onto the ground surrounding the agents in a thick haze of smoke.

“I think we are on an airplane or somethin the engines on this thing are so loud, I can’t hear anything!” the unmasked boys voice could be heard through the smoke. 

“-tt- focus super idiot” he said jumping onto the taller boys back.

“The only heartbeat I recognise is yours Robin! Why can’t I hear my mom? I don’t hear anyone!!” he said in a panic as he adjusted his grip on Robin, starting to run through the dissipating smoke and out of the room. They didn’t get very far as Thor had the foresight to move to cover the door holding Mjolnir right in front of him. The boy ran headfirst into the hammer knocking himself out. Robin on his back was too knocked out as his head banged into the others upon impact. 

The smoke cleared fully and Fury looked up from his position on the ground at the two children on the ground, one hand rubbing the back of his head where robin had punched him- stunned speechless. He reached over and grabbed the katana that had been resheathed across Robins Back. Thor grabbed the two children in his arms and slung them both over one shoulder. “Bring them to the big cell, I need to make a call” Fury instructed Thor.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They’ve got skills I can give them that but they’re just children and they’ve got to be scared. One of them is named Robin, he landed first he’s well trained and took out trained agents and me like we were altar boys, and the other is named SB I think those are just initials though. The second one is a mutant, he was able to catch Thor by surprise and tackle him. But the real kicker is that when Thor put his hammer on this SB’s lap to keep him in place this kid was able to lift it. We’ve got a collar on the kid and they’re in Hulks cage now but I want you to come help interrogate. When can you and Barton be in the air?”

“We will be there in 45 minutes”.


	2. Superboy wears Costco jeans and you can’t convince me otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scars and powers are discussed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you nocturnalgf for pointing out the kryptonian quotes didn’t show up! We’re all in this together you’re the best for helping a sister out!!!

Natasha and Clint walked into Fury’s office to find him staring at his computer screen hands folded in front of his face. “Oh wonderful, here let me start it over and you can take a look”. Fury rewound the security footage to just before the boys arrived. Leaning back in his chair he placed his hands behind his head and sighed exasperatedly “maybe you guys can make some sense of this shit storm”.  
Nat and Clint shared a brief look that meant this must be bad if Fury is acting this way. The two agents turned back to the computer and watched as the scene on the monitor unfolded. 

Natasha was trained to, and prides herself on her ability to control her emotions. She was brainwashed and abused at a young age to only display carefully placed and meticulously calculated expressions. But when the kid on the screen who couldn’t be more than 10 years old was standing above his unconscious partner holding the mjolnir like a baseball bat after already knocking Thor unconscious with the thing, her jaw hit the floor. Clint on the other hand had been gaping with an open mouth since Thor had been tackled by the kid. Silent ‘what the’ and ‘oh my gods’ as well as a not so silent ‘WHAT THE HELL’ kept interrupting the video at different points of time. When the video finally ended Clint actually had to sit down and process for a second. 

“That look on your face, is how I’ve felt for the past hour.” Fury said sighing and looking at the ceiling. “And it only gets weirder”

“How can anything be weirder than a 10 year old who is worthy of the mjolnir?” Natasha asked.

“Well, after they knocked themselves out we took them down to the Hulk cage and put the power inhibitor on SB over there. Standard operation says that we disarm them and do a full physical for threat assessment and to determine for the x gene.  
We’d already got Robins katana from when they first passed out in the common room but his uniform has that belt and reinforced gloves. So, Agent Hill goes to take off his gloves and they electrocute her same thing with his shoes and same thing with his mask. We got Thor to take those off of him. But he goes to take off the belt and some green gas gets discharged and actually knocks the god out. He woke up just a couple minutes later but STILL. It took 3 agents with rubber gloves and gas masks and an electric eel god to get him down to his skivvies!  
All of his clothes are made of a mixture of Kevlar and some other materials we can’t identify. The techs up in lab 1 are having a field day working on figuring out the all the components of his uniform and have only been able to open one pocket which had bandaids and dog treats. Literally the only normal thing on him is his designer underwear.  
When we finally got everything off this kid and could see his skin- god- I don’t know where these kids came from but I don’t know if we should send them back… He is absolutely saturated in scars and not just superficial ones, I’m talkin organ replacements, complete spinal reconstruction, dozens of gunshot wounds from handguns to rifles- you name it, fatal stab marks, burns, everything. Here I’ve got the scans somewhere.” He shuffles through the papers on his desk and hands the x-ray to Natasha who holds it so both she and Clint could see it in the light.

“Some of these look at least 5 years old, maybe older” Natasha adds in a surprised voice, her eyebrows tightening and her breath becoming shallow with anger “your notes said he was only 10”.

“This kid has seen more action than most soldiers I know” added Clint.

“And he’s fully human, 100% not a mutant.” sighed Fury “with the mask off he doesn’t look more than 10 or 12 years old and I know for a fact that this scar right there is fatal and at least 5 years old along with at least 6 of these other ones, and THIS is a through and through directly to the kids heart” Fury said pointing to a stab wound in Robin’s chest “it looks like this kid was either a pin cushion for some very sadistic voodoo freaks or he has been fighting for his life since he could walk.”

“What about this other kid, SB” Clint asked, gulping.

“We don’t know anything about him” Fury said sinking deeper into his seat

“What do you mean you don’t know anything” asked Natasha with a raised eyebrow. 

“His shirt and jeans are from Costco and the tag on his hoodie says that its from a Halloween store and he was just wearing red converse. The only thing special about his outfit is the fire-proof cape.”

“Wait- Costco? What the fuck, the other kid has kevlar!” Clint yelled from his seat on the floor

“I don’t think he needs any armour. We tried drawing blood from him and the needle broke. We tried to cut off a lock of his hair to test DNA that way and the damn scissors broke. We don’t know anything about him other than he is probably extremely dangerous and he’s only 10.”

“Are they awake yet?” Natasha wanted to meet these children and find out why a 10 year old had more scars than her and Clint combined.

“Yeah,” Nick said turning around his monitor “Robin has just been sitting on the bed in the cage and SB has been pacing the room talking to him”

“In the video he said he could hear Robin’s heartbeat. You don’t think that he can hear us, can he?” said Clint in a whisper.

Natasha looked at him with a face that meant you are such an idiot- “He’s wearing a collar Clint”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They called me extremely dangerous” Superboy said with a pointed smirk towards Robin.

“-tt- extremely irritating more like it” scoughed the other boy. 

“They also said you were a cute kid”

“ I hate you”

“Happy to hear it” Superboy teased as he continued to pace around their glass cage “D, they said this thing is a power inhibitor” he said after a moment of worrying his lip, touching the collar around his neck “what if it works? What if they’re bad guys?”

“Codenames in the field super idiot!” Damian spit viciously- it obviously isn’t working if the light is on and he could still hear the conversation happening elsewhere Damian thought to himself- but he thought this would be a good time to get payback for Jon calling him cute. He put on his best concerned look “well, is the collar working?” he added softer.

Jon looked around and saw that the cage they were in had cameras that could see their every move and probably hear everything they said too. “Security protocol 1?” Jon said more than asked Damian.

“ Bat paranoia getting the best of you, huh Jonno?” Damian smirked, replying in Kryptonian. 

“ I think that the cameras can hear us ” said Jon.

“ Of course they can we are on a military base afterall… I think. Now, is the collar working or not? It was probably designed for meta humans after all.. Just don’t fly around or anything obvious and act sad even if they do still work.” Damian was ever-so-glad that in his training with Jon he had learned the dead alien planets tongue. 

Jon thought for a moment before covering his eyes with one hand. He said a silent prayer and crossed his fingers of his other hand and attempted to use his heat vision. 

“ At this moment nothing has smelled better than your burning flesh, hayseed. But you do know you could have just x-rayed something, right? Not to mention that you got that information hearing their conversation from another room” Damian added sniggering “ I think you should keep the collar on and keep up the helpless baby act, don’t let them know the extent of your powers.” 

__Jon removed his hand and quickly cupped it with his other over his mouth as he blew frosty air to soothe the burn sending a glare towards Damian. Holding his hands in his armpits Jon continued to pace the room and he put on his best oh-no-my-powers-are-gone face “ I panicked okay! Not all of us can be as smart as you _” Jon stopped pacing and looked at his friend. They had been changed out of their uniforms and into grey sweatpants and matching grey shirts- which hadn’t even happened at the alien prison planet where they got to keep their uniforms and Damian’s weapons, but at least there was a silver lining in him still having his best friend and his powers, not trapped in that terrifying sunless room again. “So Dami, are we going to escape or wait. How are we going to get home? I don’t even know where here is..” Jon said staring at the floor starting to get his sad puppy dog look on his face.___

_____ _

_____ _

Damian stood up and walked over to Jon, placing a hand on his shoulder and tilting his chin to make the taller boy look him in the eyes, “ We’ve been through worse Jon. Hell we’ve escaped prison before and we will do it again! Just wait until they interrogate us and I will interrogate back. I promise, we will be fine and we will get home.” after a moment he returned back to his spot on the bed and pat the seat next to him “ Besides it’s almost Goliath’s birthday and I promised that I would sneak him some of your mom’s apple pie”. 

Jon laughed a little and sat down beside Damian and they sat in silence for a moment before Jon noticed that Damian had fallen asleep. He laughed and cursed the Bats for their insomniatic ways before pulling the blanket on the cot over their feet and wrapping himself over Damian before praying to whatever god was on this planet with a few tears running down his cheeks “Please we just want to go home to our families…”. 

____\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Fury, Clint, and Natasha went from on-edge to full-blown-red-alert as they watched the security feed from the Hulk cage. In fact Clint actually had blacked out for a second. He had been right of course in that SB could hear them, which meant that the collar didn’t work on him for some reason._ _ _ _

___On the screen before them they watched as SB relayed their conversation to Robin verbatim and adding in his own comments :_ _ _

_____“What’s a Hulk?”  
“You’re wearing designer underwear?”  
“I think we might be in a basement, the pirate said your uniform is upstairs in ‘Lab 1’.”  
“Wait, oh no they saw your death scar, they don’t want to send us back home they don’t think we’re safe.”  
“Hey!! What’s wrong with Costco, I love that place!”_ _ _

____Besides the shock of finding a mutant that the power inhibitor collar doesn’t work on the real kicker was this ‘security protocol 1’ measure these kids came up with. Fury ran the language they spoke with extreme fluency through every database he knew of and nothing could translate it. Natasha called Thor up into Fury’s office and much to his surprise, his allspeak couldn’t translate the language. As frustrating as it was, they still watched on listening to the strange and beautiful noises._ _ _ _

____“I wonder if they made it up themselves? Like a secret best friends language” Clint thought out loud._ _ _ _

____The security footage caught up to the two kids on the cot in the room, sensors indicating that Robin was asleep and SB tucking him in before SB switched back to english pleading to go home. Everyone in the room physically felt their heart shatter into a million pieces._ _ _ _

____“I know not of where these tiny warriors come from but I do know that they have families and that it is our duty as heroes to return them at once. Let us release them from the cage and let them be free” Thor said breaking the silence and smalling his fist onto the table._ _ _ _

____“We can’t just let them go because of a heartwarming performance” Natasha retorted, thinking back to her own training. “I think it’s time we have a little chat with our guests”._ _ _ _


	3. Don’t drink the koolaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just who is interrogating who in this chapter?

Jon had been woken up to the smell of grilled cheese. He could have sworn he was at home in metropolis and Lois was cooking dinner for him before he opened his eyes and saw that he was tangled up with Damian in another prison cell seriously we have the worst luck with this Jon thought to himself. 

“D, wake up they’re feeding us” Jon lightly shook Damian’s shoulder. 

Damian woke with a yawn and a stretch and looked around the room to see that they were still alone in their room. Jon could probably smell their food from down the hall. 

“Let me eat first. They might try dosing the food with poison or truth serum or something. According to Father’s notes, Superman has been affected by truth serums and poisons on off-world missions before and you haven’t been in direct sunlight in hours” Damian said returning to kryptonian, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

The duo stay in bed a moment longer as two large doors opened to reveal Fury and Thor whom they recognized from earlier and a red headed woman and another blond man behind them. Thor was carrying a large platter with two packed lunch boxes. “Tiny warriors, nourishment!” Thor said. 

“-tt-“ and “HA TINY” were both exchanged at the same time.

The food was passed through a slot and Damian walked over to grab the boxes he set them on the bed and began carefully opening one box. Smelling their food and inspecting it carefully. He took a bite of the sandwich and hummed in approval, same with the apple and chips which came with the meal, “-tt-“ he scoughed after he tasted the juice “a high dose of truth serum in the juice it tastes like grass and plastic, but the rest is okay” he took another bite of the sandwich and stood holding both bottles of juice and while making eye contact with each of the members of the group of adults in front of him as he poured the contents into the toilet in the cell. Damian took another bite of the grilled cheese smiling smugly at the shocked face that Fury and Clint adorned and moved back to the bed where Jon was eating his own grilled cheese. Returning to English he addressed the adults- “So what, you don’t trust us to tell the truth? Great start to making us think you are the ‘good guys’ drugging children -tt-“

“How could you tell” Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow

“Please, I’ve been receiving doses of various poisons since I was still nursing” Damian replied finishing his sandwich. 

“Robin, that’s not gonna make them want to help us to go home” Jon said shushing his partner. “He’s not exactly a people person” Jon beamed at their captors “and I’m gonna need at least 4 more sandwiches”

“We are the good guys. Do you not know of the Avengers tiny warriors?” Thor boomed

“Nope” and “Doesn’t ring a bell” the boys spoke over each other 

“You don't know the avengers?” Natasha spoke calmly never faltering eye contact with the tan child in front of her “What language were you speaking? Where are you from?”

“I’m from metropolis and he’s from Gotham city. We were speaking my dad’s language”

“Neither of those places exist” Fury added. 

“-tt- figures” Damian said eyeballing Natasha “what are these avengers you speak of” 

“Heroes that protect the Earth. Thor, Clint and I are members” Natasha was very curious of the children before her. One wore his heart on his sleeve, you could see every single emotion as they played across his mind yet he still held himself like he was the strongest and most confident one in the room. And the other… he was trained and trained well. Natasha struggled to find any clues as to who he was underneath the words, she knew that beneath the mask of his face he was calculating something, albeit an escape or his next words. If he hadn’t been drugged with truth serum she would guess that he could lie straight to her face with no hesitation, and she might not even catch it. He didn’t seem scared- he seemed almost bored to be captured. “What are your names?”

“No stupid questions” the shorter of the two replied dismissively crossing his arms. 

“How are you avoiding the truth so easily?” The redhead asked with a cocked eyebrow “we put an adult dosage of very strong truth serum into that juice”

“Practice.” Damian spit through his teeth. 

“And yet you protected your partner from the serum?”

“He is young and untrained”

“Hey! You said my training was going good!” Jon interrupted. 

“How old are you and when did you start training?” Natasha asked. 

“My birthday is next month but I’m 11. Dad let me start going out with Robin when I was 10. I know he won’t answer your question but Robin is 14 and his mom made him start training when he was a baby” 

“Superboy no incriminating answers!!” Damian said

“But they can see our faces and have our fingerprints it won’t take long for them to figure out who we ar-“

“And we don’t even know if they are who they say they are! They took away my holocomputer so I have no way of corroborating their stories” 

“-tt- Bat paranoia” Jon mocked. 

“My turn for questions,” Damian asked while wiping his hands on a paper napkin “Where are we?”

“A secure cell until you give us the answers we are looking for” Natasha snided 

“And the exact location?” he glared at her

Natasha cocked her head. “That’s classified.”

Damian smirked. “That’s how you answer a question in enemy territory, Jon.”

“Are you in enemy territory?” Natasha asked flatly.

“You tell me,” Damian shot back.

“Come on, guys,” Jon tried to keep the peace. “Do we have to fight and be all broody?”

“This is SHIELD HQ a flying aircraft known as the helicarrier. You are in the Hulk Cage, built to withstand the full force of the strongest known being in the universe. If you try to escape you will be dropped a mile into the ocean.” replied Fury

“Try to escape -tt- we’ve escaped worse than this you imbic-“ Damian started in a haughty tone

“Planet designation?” Jon quickly asked before Damian could offend anyone

“Planet designation?” Clint repeated dumbly “um, Earth?”

“Hm, do you know which one?” Damian said and after receiving even more blank incredulous stares he sighed and asked “Great we are working with infants. What is the date?”

“Where are you guys from that you’re asking these questions, what language were you speaking, and what do you mean which Earth??” Clint asked. 

“The peoples of this planet designate this section America, of the planet Earth. The allfather has told stories of other earths and realms before but I thought them myth” Thor answered breaking his silence and stunning most of the room. 

After a few moments of heavy silence- 

“Shit” Damian said “well I was right Superboy we aren’t on our Earth any more. Toyman must have blasted us to a different universe. At least there is one intelligent being in the room. Tell me now sir, do you know of this universes green lantern forces or how to be in contact with Death? I believe they might be able to help us bac-“

“Enough!” Fury roared “what the FUCK”

“Yeah ditto” Clint quipped. 

“What do you mean you aren’t on your Earth? And Thor what do you mean other earths?” Natasha asked

“We are from another Earth, simple as that” Jon spoke making his presence known to the Assassin. “Our dads have done lots of research on dimensional travel after… after bad things happened to my brother by his other from a different dimension. And the same thing happened to the League that one time with like ultra man and owl man… and the titans too, I think. BUT. We are all from an Earth, I think... because we probably run in the same timeline, gravity, and the sun and stuff are still the same which is good. Seriously, you guys are a government agency and none of you know this?”

“You sure do know a lot about the topic of dimensional travel kid” Clint scoughed 

“Yeah well this isn’t the first time we’ve been blasted off our Earth. At least the planet isn’t trying to eat us this time. The whole stripping us and cataloguing injuries is weird though” he replied

“Well what were you doing to warrant a trip to another dimension, surely they don’t let you play with dimensional ray guns in preschool” asked Clint, stepping closer to the cage and pointing towards the boys

“Wow score one to the knockoff green arrow for that totally sick burn”

“Thank you superboy” Damian turned to address his partner, then facing back to the adults “we were fighting a villain named Toyman and he shot us with a weapon I had never seen before. I remember being shrouded in a bright light and when I woke up we were here”

“You fell and hit your head on a table too” Jon added giggling slightly. 

“If I recall you are the one that ran us directly into Thor’s hammer”

“I hate you”

“Happy to hear i-“

“What do you mean you were fighting a villain you are just kids” Clint cut off their bickering. 

“I am NOT a child” Damian snarled “and I know you’ve seen my x-rays so I know that YOU KNOW I am a soldier trained for war. Baptized in blood, a weapon forged in the bowels of hell and heir to the throne-“

Damian was cut off but Jon smacking his hand over his mouth. “Maybe my friend has had a little too much of that juice” he said sheepishly. Damian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms before sitting back down on the bed. “Our dads are heroes. They are apart of our worlds group of heroes who protect the Earth called the Justice League. We fight alongside them sometimes when they need our help but otherwise we patrol and fight crime ourselves. This isn’t even the first time we’ve been transported somewhere and locked up in a prison together, or transported to a different reality, or met grumpy pirates. Trust me when I say he is not just a kid and you have definitely never met a kid like me before.” To make his point Jon reached up and tore off his collar with one hand “The only reason why we are still in this glass cage is because we chose to stay and hope that you can help us find a way home. Now, if you’ll please let us out of this prison cell we will answer more of your questions, unless you want me to break your expensive cage”. 

Fury narrowed his eye “this glass is strong enough to contain a raging Hulk and a nuclear warhead blast you could not simply break through it” he said crossing his arms “besides if you try to smash your way through the cage will drop into the ocean, remember?” 

“Well, I don’t know what a Hulk is but I bet you one month of cleaning batcow’s pen that you can’t break us out before the cage drops. One hand only.” Damian said teasing Jon with a smirk. 

The four adults glanced at each other blinking incredulously as Jon smiled bearing his teeth, “challenge accepted” he said rubbing his hands together. 

“Wait what the...” Clint began to say as he grabbed his bow and notched an arrow “Boss what do we do??”

Nick didn’t have time to answer before Superboy lept towards the glass with a growl and hit it with a small fist making a large cracking noise creating a large web of glass cracking growing from where his fist had landed. “Huh” he said cocking his head and smirking again. He smiled at the adults and flicked the glass with one finger right where he had punched the glass and the whole wall of glass exploded outwards towards the group of shocked adults but before Jon could step through or lower his hand the cage was dropped from the helicarrier. 

“Well what do we do now” Clint asked looking over the now gaping hole in the floor of the aircraft. 

Nick had already gotten his communicator out and was close to an aneurysm “Hill, contact the Avengers ASAP the kids have escaped the Hulk Cage. YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER. WE NEED BACKUP TO FIND THESE KIDS NOW”

His yelling was cut short by as all of the oxygen left his body and he was caught flabbergasted for the millionth time that morning. In the empty circle on the ground the Hulk cage could be seen returning to its original position. When it came fully back into the room Robin could be seen still sitting comfortably on the bed eating the chips that came with one of the lunch boxes, he smirked “I win” he said looking out at the paralyzed with shock adults. The cage continued to rise. 

“Yeah yeah yeah D, it dropped faster than I thought” Jon said flying underneath the cage holding it up with both hands. He made eye contact with Clint and released one hand sending Clint a thumbs up and the most shit eating grin the older man had ever seen. 

“Uh Maria-“

“The avengers are en route sir”

“...They came back”

“What do you mean they came back you said the cage was dropped!”

“Uh yeah they came back… and brought the cage back too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, me back on my bullshit so soon. Enjoy! I still go to work every day but I’ve got so much free time now that we aren’t an actual functioning restaurant that my coworkers must think I actually have friends with how much I’m typing.
> 
> Also as you might have noticed this is a mosh mash of many cannons I have read to fit what I want characters to say, please don’t yell at me saying the supersons shouldn’t know that much about dimensional travel or that Jon and Kon don’t know eachother. In my brain, the superfam has almost as many kids as the Batfam.


	4. A pair of cinnamon rolls who could actually kill you

“Hulk couldn’t break that glass! Loki couldn’t escape from that cage!! What do you mean someone broke the glass and escaped?!?!” Tony shouted at Fury from the conference room where the Avengers were gathered. 

“Not just someone. Them.” Fury replied, pointing to the camera that was trained on the boys and pulling up the folder containing all his notes onto the holographic screen before them. “We have them situated in a conference room down the hall” he said, scanning the files of the two boys. 

“You’re telling me SHIELD has two elementary schoolers in their custody??” Steve shouted aggressively slamming a hand onto the conference table and pushing his chair back to stand up and glare at Fury. 

“No,” Fury said, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms at Steve “they can clearly escape any time they want and have made that fact very clear. The kid with blue eyes is the one that broke the hulk cage with one hand!” 

“They say that they are the sons of their worlds equivalent of the Avengers and that they fight alongside them. At this point with everything I’ve seen and the evidence they’ve presented, I believe them” interjected Natasha. 

“So you’re telling me an 8 year old broke the hulk cage? That’s impossible.” Tony said with an air of disbelief 

“After the morning I’ve had, impossible is no longer in my vocabulary” replied Fury “just watch the damn videos then we will go and meet them” 

—————-

“They’re just sitting there, I thought they’d be doing something or at least talking in that weird language again” Tony said crossing his arms, looking through the one way glass. 

Scrubbing one hand behind his neck and scrunching his nose Dr Banner added “I mean other than the scowl on that one they really look like regular kids”

“They are kids” countered Natasha deadpan with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well they aren’t regular ones that’s for sure” corrected Steve, chewing on his lip and trying to make sense of the two child soldiers in front of him. 

The three avengers joined Fury, Natasha, Clint and Thor on the helicarrier shortly after the fiasco with the hulk cage had been settled. After watching the security footage taken of the arrival and subsequent interrogation of the supersons during their time in the hulk cage Tony, Steve, and Dr. Banner looked between the holographic screens and each other and decided they wanted to see the children in person. Damian and Jon had been moved from the now broken hulk cage to one of SHIELDs conference rooms. They were sitting at the large meeting table in the cushy chairs and since being left alone they hadn’t really spoken that much. Not that they were weary of their situation, the two seemed to be comfortable and only slightly outwardly concerned about finding a way home at this point, but the kids had been awake for nearly 24 hours with only small naps and drugged food courtesy of shield. 

The Avengers and Fury watched from behind the one way glass overlooking the boys as they sit in the room playing Rock Paper Scissors and other finger games to entertain themselves and fiddling with whatever they could find in the conference room. Already the trained agents behind the glass could see the boy named Robin had found and stashed a pen in his sock and had another on the table in arms reach. 

“They may look like children,” Nick Fury said with a sigh “but these boys are a mystery even to me and so far figuring out the origin of their existence within our universe and preferably how to keep them properly contained and out of the public’s eyes without causing further trauma to ourselves or them, is our number one priority”

“And try to figure out how to get us home” Superboy interjected, looking through the glass directly at Fury. 

A shocked shudder ran through all of the adults. 

“Yes,” fury tacked on “and to get them home”

“And preferably before they send someone here to get us” Superboy added before turning back to Damian and stealing a piece of his scrap paper to fold into origami

“Sheesh it’s like he was looking right at you” Tony whispered

Jon raised an eyebrow and turned his gaze to Tony as Damian rolled his eyes while continuing on folding scraps paper he had found into throwing stars

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Tony challenged the boy in the other room

“2, with your left hand… now 5… that’s the same just the back of your hand… wow you’re making a funny face right now. Do you want me to tell you how many pins are in the left knee of the angry pirate standing next to you?” Jon said with a laugh

“-tt- would you all please make your way into the conference room? Some of us can not hear nor see through 6 inches of plaster, concrete, and steel” said Damian, voice thick with sarcasm. 

The avengers and Fury moved from behind the glass to varying degrees of standing and sitting at the conference table with the boys. 

Breaking the silence from across the table Tony asked “how do you do that? In the security tapes from earlier you were trying to find your moms heartbeat miles below on the ground”

“Super ears” Jon just shrugged and continued folding

“And you can just hear from miles away… always?” Dr Banner asked, stupefied 

“Well I mean… can you turn your ears off?”

“How have you not gone insane with all the constant noise?” Steve asked

“My dad taught me to just focus on one thing at a time when the world gets loud. He usually listens to Batman’s heartbeat, Kon and Chris listen to their boyfriends, Kara listens to… well actually I don’t know about the rest of them but it’s probably another hero, but I listen to Robin’s. My mom’s is nice too when I’m really scared but the batfamily have slower resting heart rates and don’t get surprised as easily”

“I’m sorry, when the world gets loud? Just how much can you hear??” Tony questioned leaning forward with his arms crossed on the table. 

Jon closed his eyes and leaned back. 

“You have 6 huge engines on this ship. Someone in the control room just beat their high score on Galaga. Millions of people on the ground are crying. Millions are laughing. Hundreds of mommies are screaming as they push out babies. Millions of babies are screaming and millions of kids are crying. Millions of stomachs are growling. There’s a wildfire in California, there are skunks trapped in a tree… they’re crying.” He sniffled and sat up straight “The fire is cracking really loud… and- and it smells like, it smells like their fur is singed…” he trailed off and slouched with a tear running down his cheek

“As I recall,” Robin said placing a hand on Jon’s shoulder “stars crackle like a campfire as well” Damian added with a hint of nostalgia trying to cheer up his friend, and earning a glance of confusion from the adults in the room yet successfully distracting them from Jon. 

Jon took a shaky breath and the two held eye contact for a second before Jon smiled fully regaining his composure. He laughed and turned back to the room of heartbroken and shocked adults. “But enough of that, you guys never introduced yourselves- unless you want us to keep calling you the angry pirate, the archer, hammer guy, red hair scary eyes lady, glasses guy, mustache dude, and blondie”

“I guess you truly are from another world if you don’t know who we are-“ Tony started

“The mighty avengers!!” Thor exclaimed with an excited shout

“Thank you Thor. From what I gathered from our talk earlier, we are the equivalent of the team your fathers are apart of back home” Natasha continued

“That was Natasha, aka the black widow- a trained super spy with killer thighs. Her partner in crime is Clint Barton, code name Hawkeye or katniss if you prefer. I am Tony Stark aka Iron Man, billionaire playboy philanthropist, former arms dealer turned superhero. The other genius in the room is Dr Bruce Banner or the Hulk when he gets angry, he’s the one that cage you broke was designed for… anywho- Next we have the blondie Captain America or Steve Rogers, I call him capsicle because he was frozen in ice for a couple decades but blondie works too. Our other resident blonde hunk is Thor, the god of thunder. And last but not least is the angry pirate and our hostess with the mostess, Nick Fury. We are the avengers and we are gonna help you get home, but in the meanwhile you boys can stay at the tower with us instead of some jail cell in shield's helicarrier”. 

“-tt only if you’ll promise not to strip and drug us too” Damian said with a snort “and I’d like my uniform back before your imbecilic scientists rip it to threads trying to get the compartments open”

“You won’t be getting your katana back, you two will be in one of the most secure buildings in the world with some of the most highly trained soldiers and superheroes while you are guests in our world. Clint and I were child assassins, I know not to underestimate you because of your age, and with your skills and his powers you will be under 24/7 surveillance” Natasha said putting both hands on the table in front of Robin and facing Damian head on, with steel and grit in her voice and a gaze that could counter Batman’s own. 

“Don't worry about him, Superboy is as good as they come and anyways you couldn’t stop Superboy with your available resources,” Robin said dismissively leaning back in his seat and taking one of his paper stars in between two fingers “as for me, I don’t kill” he threw the star past the assassin causing a paper cut to bloom on her cheek, “any more” he stood yawning and stretching his arms high over his head “let’s make way for this tower of yours, ‘mighty avengers’”.


	5. Give him the darn blade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally me coming out of my grave to post this
> 
> https://i.imgflip.com/3kmma6.jpg

Damian sneered suppressing a growl. Glancing down at his wrist he couldn’t help the huff of irritation he released. It had been 4 hours since their release and he was not any closer to having his all possessions back. 

“Dude just give him his sword back, he will keep whining about it until he either gets it or breaks in and steals it.” Jon sighed as the dynamic duo were led down a hallway by the avengers. 

“-tt- I am not whining, I am not some foul smelling child” countered Damian “I am just confused as to why you are willing to return my uniform and utility belt which could hold any number of weapons, yet refuse me the right to my family heirloom”

“Probably because your family heirloom just so happens to be a 2 foot long razor sharp blade that can probably give someone a paper cut just by looking at it?” Sighed Tony from where he stood, not so subtly attempting to x-ray Robins uniform and get a peek inside the pouches. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose Fury sighed as he explained the situation again, “you already know that our techs weren’t able to open the majority of your pouches so you more than likely have plenty of ways to defend yourself in an emergency. We gave you your clothes back as a sign of good will, but I draw the line at having you armed with a katana in a building with civilians.”

“-tt- as if I would sully the blade and my name by stooping so low as to attack civilians.” Damian huffed “I DEMAND YOU RETURN MY PROPERTY TO ME OR I WILL RETRIEVE IT BY FORCE!”

Jumping in front of Damian, Jon held his arms out in the universal sign of peace. “Sheesh why are you guys so worried? Robin is a hero, he would never hurt a civilian! This is crazy! They let him keep all of his weapons when we were locked in the prison planet!!”

“It’s because of statements like that!” Exclaimed Clint from across the room where he sat at the conference table, dumbfounded by the sheer will this kid possesses to have been arguing with Nick fury over a sword for hours. Said kid also arguing over housing, transportation, monetary compensation, communication, diplomatic status, and a plethora of other things that Clint would have never even considered if he were in this situation, but he kept getting fixated on the sword. 

“You two are an unknown danger and we want to keep the risk level to a minimum” added Steve. 

“My katana doesn’t even belong in this dimension, you can’t keep it from me forever!” Closing his eyes, taking a breath, and clenching his fists at his sides Damian was practically fuming. “First you violate my privacy by undressing and taking scans without my consent or knowledge, then you drug me and steal all of my dog treats, and now you won’t return my grandfather's sword to me?! This is a simple request and I don’t understand how you imbeciles fail to process this!”

“Wait,” Jon said, suddenly turning solemn “you took the dog treats? I can understand taking the sword (HEY! Damian screamed in the background) but you took the heckin dog treats??” He said, eyes starting to darken. 

“Just say fuck Hayseed, the situation warrants it” Damian growled, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. 

Huffing out a breath and thrusting his hands on his hips Jon pulled a face, “Oh I’m gonna say it, I’m gonna say something alright, because we have been awake for too long and only got one grilled cheese, so imma say something and I’ll say it real clear for y'all” he pointed a finger towards the ogling adults in the room who were growing more and more concerned as the air in the room began to slightly heat and smell of ozone. 

“And he’s gonna go supernova too if we don’t get everything we came here with!” Damian shouted mimicking an explosion with his hands. 

“Super nova?!” Fury and Tony exclaimed at the same time on opposite sides of intrigued and concerned. 

“Well I’m not gonna do a flare because it gives me a headache and my dad told me not to unless he’s here and also I don’t want to destroy the entire base, but I might just melt some tables or something” peering around trying to decide his perfect target he was cut off again by Damian. 

“Nope he’s gonna blow this piece of junk RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!”

“Oh nice one” Jon said subtly laughing and extending a fist toward Robin for a bump. 

“No offense but how could you possibly destroy the helicarrier and what is a flare, is that a power you have?” Captain America asked, cheeks slightly flushing as he imagined the worst. 

Raising an eyebrow over his crimson burning eyes Jon replied “Judge me by my size, do you?” He said playing along with Damian. 

“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” Damian sneered, wrinkling his nose in disgust. 

“The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And… my sister has it.” Jon growled in ever rising volume adding to the tension in the room, bringing his fists up in the air. 

“Execute Order 66!” Damian yelled with a stomp of his foot. 

“Great try kid, don’t get cocky” Tony cut off the screaming with a raised eyebrow and a grin. Earning a warning look from the other adults in the lab and a quiet “darn” from Jon as the two boys exchanged looks. 

Shrugging his shoulders he walked over to the table that Fury had been guarding and grabbed Robin's katana, completely ignoring the shouts from everyone as he handed it to a visibly pleased and smirking Damian. “What? You guys do realize they’ve just been quoting Star Wars for the past 5 minutes, right? Jeez they're just kids. What kind of trouble could they possibly get us into”. 

“Oh how wude.” Damian added in perfect a jar jar binks impersonation with a shit eating grin to a furious nick fury as Jon broke down laughing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t hate me for the Star Wars quotes I thought I was funny😂 also hi! It’s my birthday and no, I’m not dead, just stressed👍


	6. In which children are ...difficult at times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will I ever write something that isn’t dialogue heavy? Stay tuned to find out 👌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, gracias, and merci to everyone who commented on my last chapter. You guys cleared my skin and made my crops grow. I’m starting to get back into the swing of things so hopefully I can post with some sort of regularity!

You see these were the moments that made Steve realize that maybe he was lucky his life was so abnormal. Maybe it was a good thing that he was experimented on, sent to war, and subsequently frozen in ice for a few decades. Possibly it was a good thing that he didn’t even get the chance to live out his days back in a shitty Brooklyn apartment, eventually finding a wife and a shitty job, loathing each and every day but enduring it because he had to. Maybe it was a good thing. He knew this now because of loud, obnoxious, and incredibly bratty children. Specifically because of the way that Robin’s eyebrow lifted as he schooled his face into the most bored and passé expression that Steve has ever managed to see, as the group stepped off the quinjet and made their way to the Avengers Compound. 

The first time Steve had seen the compound he had gazed starry eyed at the sleek edges of the building how the windows reflected the surrounding trees so beautifully. The avengers compound was a thing of beauty, situated on the lake and surrounded by forests, all of the buildings and hangers with huge sparking windows and the interiors all decked out with the highest possible quality technology, holograms and ai strewn throughout the entire skeleton of the compound. 

He might be old fashioned and still getting used to modern advances in, well, everything. But it is still a beautiful and definitely expensive building. 

At least the other kid seems to be more outwardly excited. He skips circles around Robin as they make their way to the main building, laughing and pointing out how nice the sun feels on his skin this warm afternoon. 

Steve and the other avengers walked up, mixed expressions of confused, amused, and relieved to have brought the anomaly’s to neutral territory where the most they could cause is property damage. 

Entering the compound Steve couldn’t help but make a face as the two boys completely glossed over their surroundings. 

Natasha on the other hand was quietly impressed as she studied the two walking behind them. Robin's sharp movements as he carefully calculates exit routes and mapped his way through the compound as they made their way through its halls. She even caught the three instances of him grabbing supplies off of agents desks as they passed them and stuffing them into his waistband and shoes along with passing some to the other boy who kept on cheerfully skipping along pointing things out and giggling at inside jokes with his friend. 

Weaving their way through the compound the group found their way into the living quarters, where the avengers spent most of their time outside of the training facilities and labs. A dozen pristine suites lined the halls with a giant living room in the middle and an attached kitchen.

“Well boys, welcome to your new home for the foreseeable future as we try to find a way to bend time and space and send you home!” Tony exclaimed cheerfully with a flourish. 

“I was expecting more, with all of the fanfare” Damian said, waving a hand dismissively. 

Sighing at the kids antics and rolling his eyes Steve piped up, “More? This is the avengers compound!! Probably one of the most high tech bases on earth!”

Seeming to be communicating through looks alone the two kids shared a very pointed expression. 

Throwing on a million dollar smile, dimples and all, and god did that throw off everyone who had not but a few hours ago watch him single handedly break the hulk cage, Jon quickly turned around to complement the space “It is very very nice! It’s just a little plain”. 

Raising an eyebrow Natasha added more notes about these strange boys to her growing list she had been keeping in her head. ‘Used to, and trained in far more advanced technology’ being added to the top. 

“This place is state of the art!” Clint added with an astonished snort from his place at the kitchen counter. 

Never passing up an opportunity to interrogate Natasha turned to Robin and asked “I assume that on your Earth your heroes have a base?”. 

“Yes, Father funded the watchtower for the justice league” he replied with a cool indifference, not bothering to give any more details as he sauntered into the kitchen. 

“Damn that’s a cool name for a headquarters” Clint mused, barely audible around the handful of m&ms in his mouth. 

“Sounds a little pretentious to me” Tony quipped. 

Jumping over the back of the couch and landing next to a surprised Dr. Banner Superboy turned around to kneel on the couch and lean over the back facing the rest of the group. “Don’t forget the moon base!” he said, practically vibrating in the spot, causing the avengers slight discomfort to see a child, albeit a very strong one and a source of agitation so close to the hulk. 

“It hasn’t been rebuilt since you and your father destroyed it, not to mention the hell bat suit is in shambles” Damian sneered, pulling a face and throwing a m&m across the room at Jon who caught it happily in his mouth. 

“Hey that wasn’t our fault it was the Eradicators fault! And my mom wore that to protect us” he defended, still chewing. 

“-tt- Of course you would need protection”

“Wait hold up rewind I’m going to completely gloss over that conversation and backtrack to MOON BASE?” Tony interrupted, one hand rubbing a temple from keeping up with these kids. 

“Well the watchtower is a giant satellite orbiting earth” Jon added cheerfully. 

“Of course it is” Tony sighed, moving his hand to the bridge of his nose. 

“Why don’t we have one of those?” Steve added ever so helpfully. 

Seeming to contemplate the price and feasibility of making said base in his head, Tony pulled a face and then quickly shrugged “I own a satellite”. He finally said, causing Steve to cock his head to the side like a confused puppy. 

Turning back to the happier and friendlier of the two kids Steve went on to ask “why do you even need a space station? Don’t you have compounds on earth?”

“There are bases in most major cities on earth but the watchtower is like a hub for all communications across earth and with the green lanterns” Jon explained helpfully, slowly floating a few inches in the air and sitting cross legged on the back of the couch as he spoke. 

“What’s a green lantern?” Tony asked with a furrowed brow. 

“Intergalactic space cop slash diplomat” Jon answered at the same time that Damian sneered and said “Incompetent space miscreant”. 

“Space diplomat?” Natasha asked, curiosity piqued. 

Pulling a face pointed towards Damian Jon happily clarified. “Yeah the lanterns pretty much keep the peace between planets, catalogue life, protect endangered species and such”

“They’re actually in contact with aliens?” Dr. Banner asked, stupefied, raising his eyebrows in shock. 

“Haven’t aliens tried to conquer your earth?” Tony added exasperatedly. 

“Of course they have attempted, but the justice league always stops them” Damian countered, crossing his arms and huffing in annoyance. 

Confused Natasha crossed her arms as well, “Okay but the green lanterns still work as diplomats towards them? Don’t you think that’s a little counter productive with your heroes also fighting against aliens?” 

“There are multiple aliens whom are members of the justice league” seeming to enjoy the confusion he was creating with his and jons mere existence, Damian smirked answering in a tone that seemed to convey that yes, he is indeed better than everyone else in the room.

“Really?” Tony asked dumbfoundedly. 

Slumping down in his chair Clint huffed, “How does that even work??”.

“Yeah, some of the lanterns are alien, the hawks, Johns from Mars, Kori was like the queen of her planet before her sister took the throne” Jon said, waving his hand in an aborted manner. 

“I think you’re skipping over the most obvious one” Damian said with a sly grin. 

“I mean Kori is literally orange with flaming pink hair” Jon giggles, causing the avengers to all display mixed emotions ranging from Clint's stupefied jaw drop to Natashas single raised eyebrow and pinched mouth. 

Ignoring the reactions from the adults around him Damian continued, “But Superman is one of the big three”. 

“The big 3?” Dr. Banner asked. 

Twisting in his perch on the top of the couch to look back at banner Jon answered, “The 3 founding members of the justice league”. 

“My father, Batman. Wonder Woman, an immortal warrior from Themyscira and the daughter of Zeus. Superman, a kryptonian sent to Earth as a baby who is one of the most powerful beings known to our earth.” 

“And Superman is my dad!” Jon says with a blinding grin. 

“Is that what the S on your costume stands for?” Steve asks, tapping his own chest and raising an eyebrow. 

“No it’s my family crest, the house of El” Jon said, shaking his head with a small smile, used to the question. 

“It just looks like an S to me” Clint sniggered. 

“Well it’s not, the kryptonian alphabet doesn’t even look like- oh never mind” said Jon exasperatedly falling backwards onto the couch cushions. 

“So kryptonian is what you two were speaking earlier?” Natasha asked.

Pursing his lips into a smirk Damian teased “Yes, congratulations for finally catching up to speed”

“So you’re an alien?” Dr. Banner asked with a calculating eye, adjusting his glasses.

“Not to state the obvious but I’m half kryptonian” Jon added sitting back up on the couch. Causing suspicious looks from most of the avengers and curious glances from the others. “Well Superman is from krypton, and I’m… from Superman?”

“Am I not an alien as I am not from Midguard?” Thor finally added stepping out from the corner he was standing in after a moment of pointed silence. 

“...no you’re a god?” Tony added in a questioning voice. 

“-tt- Gods and Religion are just an explanation for what one cannot understand, tell me, is Superboy a god because he can fly and your power inhibitor does not work on him?” Damian retorted with a roll of his eyes. 

“No he’s a mutant” Tony countered. 

“That’s a disgusting word” Damian snapped, raising an eyebrow and slightly flexing his fingers. 

Sucking in a breath Tony scrambled to fix the tense atmosphere, “no I meant he probably possess the x gene-“

“No I’m an alien just like Thor, as we have just discussed.” Jon interrupted. 

Recrossing his arms and rolling his eyes again Damian began to make his way over to the couch with Jon, “You are already in contact with alien life, why is it such a strange concept for you to understand”. 

“Why would you want to be in such close kahoots with so many threats?” Tony blurted out pointing up to the sky before he rubbed his hand over his chest. 

Crossing the tense room Damian jumped over the couch in a similar manner to how Jon had done earlier, but landing so that he was perched on his toes on the arm of the couch next to Jon who was sitting cross legged picking at a loose thread on his jeans. 

“Why wouldn’t we be in communications with the rest of the galaxy and beyond,” Damian explained with a wave of his hand “how else do you get tech and material to further advance life on earth? For example we wouldn’t have Zeda transporters without motherboxes from Apokolips”

“Oh good there’s a planet out there called apocalypse, that sounds pleasant” Steve sighed crossing his arms and contemplating just riding his bike out to Vermont until the kids were gone.


End file.
